Sometimes I wish my blog were totally anonymous. In reality, I think I have one reader and she knows who I am. And who would be surprised by that, since it's been 5 months since I last posted?
It seems that the anonymity would let me be more honest, would give me more of an outlet. I guess it's why people post in places like F My Life and Truu Confessions. Sometimes you have something in your heart that doesn't seem right for your circle of friends to know about.
Sometimes we don't want to share in order to protect others in our lives, or probably more often to protect ourselves. But the blogs I love the most (and I know there's SOMEONE they know reading them, right?) are brutally frank, not about politics or anything outside themselves, but about life and, harder still, their own feelings about life.
I am honestly not sure I am ready for that, so let me start like this. Life is HARD sometimes. No matter how blessed we are to have them, marriage, motherhood and work can be trying. Exhausting. Not the kind of exhausting I experienced when I used to work 80-hour weeks and then continue the weekend in the same way. Not the kind of exhausting I ever even felt on just a couple hours of sleep a night, even when that was due to depression. This is a kind of exhausting that I never knew, that can only come with the responsibility of people's lives on your head and shoulders and in your heart at all times. The kind there is no break from.
It's an exhaustion some people would die for, I know. I know. I know.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
What If the Tea Party Were Black?
I recently saw this headline in passing and couldn't stop thinking about it. I had a good guess of what it's about - that there would be a lot less slack and a lot more fear around a group of angry People of Color than has been given to the Tea Partiers.
Here's the piece, if you're interested, and I think you should be.
But honestly, since non-partisan news is pretty hard to come by these days, and I tend to fall on the left end of things, I don't see a lot of slack for the Tea Party folks. In fact, I see a lot of ridicule. And I personally am terrified of their recent actions, so I know there's fear.
So this headline - before I got to read the actual post - made me think about some other things. If the Tea Party had more Black people than White, would I speak about them in the same way? Would I be so insulting, dismissive, and quick to point out the misspellings on their signs (hilarious as they are)? Would my white liberal guilt allow for that? Or would I give a closer look to what brought them to this point, and what part our systems played in that?
It's not a question I want to admit having to ask, believe you me. But it is something I better think long and hard about if I want to keep thinking of myself as someone who believes in equality — and if I want to teach my children the true meaning of that word.
Here's the piece, if you're interested, and I think you should be.
But honestly, since non-partisan news is pretty hard to come by these days, and I tend to fall on the left end of things, I don't see a lot of slack for the Tea Party folks. In fact, I see a lot of ridicule. And I personally am terrified of their recent actions, so I know there's fear.
So this headline - before I got to read the actual post - made me think about some other things. If the Tea Party had more Black people than White, would I speak about them in the same way? Would I be so insulting, dismissive, and quick to point out the misspellings on their signs (hilarious as they are)? Would my white liberal guilt allow for that? Or would I give a closer look to what brought them to this point, and what part our systems played in that?
It's not a question I want to admit having to ask, believe you me. But it is something I better think long and hard about if I want to keep thinking of myself as someone who believes in equality — and if I want to teach my children the true meaning of that word.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Church Bulletin Bloopers
I know this may not all be real, and I know I am doing yet another church-related post in my churchily named blog. But I hope that someone can laugh till they cry the way I did when I read these. Or at least that someone can explain why they crack me up so much!
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
Remember in prayer the many that are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again", giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm - prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.
I saw this quote from Saint Francis of Assissi today and love it. So many of us, myself included, shy away from the idea of sharing our religion with others. And since I spend my life expressing myself (well, mostly expressing others) through words, I sometimes forget there are other ways. But I should spend more time letting my actions be good brand ambassadors for God.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately as some very, very sad things happen around us in the name of religion. Americans (and probably most Westerners) like to think of Muslims as the crazy religious zealots, but there are plenty of recent instances of Christians behaving in extremist ways. Whether Islamic or Christian, it's usually the few making a bad name for the many. But since I am Christian, Catholic specifically, it's those incidents that sting the most.
The one that's top of mind for many of us is the murder of Dr. Tiller. The backwards logic of this is the most baffling. I'm not alone in wondering how killing someone is a good way to prove the point that "killing" is wrong. Then again, how many people believe in the death penalty or, as an everyday example, in spanking to show that hitting is wrong? Still, "Thou Shalt Not Kill" does not have an asterisk next to it. There are no exceptions, right? It doesn't seem at all ambiguous, but of course it is, or there wouldn't be two sides of the abortion argument to begin with.
The other really disappointing thing for me recently has been the passing of Prop 8 here in California. Again, I feel that people are using religion to put a shield between themselves and their fears. And again, it's all in the spin. It's "oppression" when women in other cultures aren't allowed to marry whomever they choose (or in a recent story, when their families can choose to have them divorced), but here we can do it in the name of family values. As if that isn't the same reason others would surely cite to support their biases, or the same reason we've used in the past to prevent interracial marriages or women's rights.
I suppose this is part of why I'm hesitant to share my religious viewpoint with others. On the one hand, it is my truth, so I shouldn't hesitate to say so, at least in "appropriate," e.g., non-work settings. On the other hand, I risk association with a few zealots and a few antiquated rules that stand out above all the good there is.
I guess it's like life, though. It's up to us to choose to focus on the positive over the negative. It's not about keeping a tally or worrying what others will think.
Until recently, I thought of myself as "mostly Catholic." I'm terrible about going to church, and I vehemently disagree with some of the doctrine. But I had a revelation one day. I was thinking about how commitment is actually very freeing; it lets you bring in that one foot that was out the door, and allows you to fully focus on making things work instead of wavering over a decision. And I realized that I spend too much of my life waiting for the perfect conditions. It's cost me a home, and likely some great friendships. But nothing and no one is perfect. I don't say I'm "mostly married" because Hubs freaks out when he can't find something that is often right in front of his face, or because we don't spend as much quality time together as I'd like. I am married to him, through and through, and if someone doesn't like what that says about me, too bad (not that anyone has said that, I'm just sayin'). That day, I decided I would no longer caveat my religious choices any more than I would put disclaimers on the ones I love.
I've seen a bumper sticker with this quote from Gandhi:"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ." If Gandhi really said this, my first thought is WTH? Like he met every single Christian. It seems so un-Gandhi-like to make such a vast and poopy generalization. My second thought is, he's surely not the only one who feels this way.
What people choose to see and how others choose to act is out of my hands. But it is well within my control to help there be more positive examples of Christianity in this world. I will work to do that more and, after this here post, I will only use words if necessary.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately as some very, very sad things happen around us in the name of religion. Americans (and probably most Westerners) like to think of Muslims as the crazy religious zealots, but there are plenty of recent instances of Christians behaving in extremist ways. Whether Islamic or Christian, it's usually the few making a bad name for the many. But since I am Christian, Catholic specifically, it's those incidents that sting the most.
The one that's top of mind for many of us is the murder of Dr. Tiller. The backwards logic of this is the most baffling. I'm not alone in wondering how killing someone is a good way to prove the point that "killing" is wrong. Then again, how many people believe in the death penalty or, as an everyday example, in spanking to show that hitting is wrong? Still, "Thou Shalt Not Kill" does not have an asterisk next to it. There are no exceptions, right? It doesn't seem at all ambiguous, but of course it is, or there wouldn't be two sides of the abortion argument to begin with.
The other really disappointing thing for me recently has been the passing of Prop 8 here in California. Again, I feel that people are using religion to put a shield between themselves and their fears. And again, it's all in the spin. It's "oppression" when women in other cultures aren't allowed to marry whomever they choose (or in a recent story, when their families can choose to have them divorced), but here we can do it in the name of family values. As if that isn't the same reason others would surely cite to support their biases, or the same reason we've used in the past to prevent interracial marriages or women's rights.
I suppose this is part of why I'm hesitant to share my religious viewpoint with others. On the one hand, it is my truth, so I shouldn't hesitate to say so, at least in "appropriate," e.g., non-work settings. On the other hand, I risk association with a few zealots and a few antiquated rules that stand out above all the good there is.
I guess it's like life, though. It's up to us to choose to focus on the positive over the negative. It's not about keeping a tally or worrying what others will think.
Until recently, I thought of myself as "mostly Catholic." I'm terrible about going to church, and I vehemently disagree with some of the doctrine. But I had a revelation one day. I was thinking about how commitment is actually very freeing; it lets you bring in that one foot that was out the door, and allows you to fully focus on making things work instead of wavering over a decision. And I realized that I spend too much of my life waiting for the perfect conditions. It's cost me a home, and likely some great friendships. But nothing and no one is perfect. I don't say I'm "mostly married" because Hubs freaks out when he can't find something that is often right in front of his face, or because we don't spend as much quality time together as I'd like. I am married to him, through and through, and if someone doesn't like what that says about me, too bad (not that anyone has said that, I'm just sayin'). That day, I decided I would no longer caveat my religious choices any more than I would put disclaimers on the ones I love.
I've seen a bumper sticker with this quote from Gandhi:"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ." If Gandhi really said this, my first thought is WTH? Like he met every single Christian. It seems so un-Gandhi-like to make such a vast and poopy generalization. My second thought is, he's surely not the only one who feels this way.
What people choose to see and how others choose to act is out of my hands. But it is well within my control to help there be more positive examples of Christianity in this world. I will work to do that more and, after this here post, I will only use words if necessary.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Weird Things That People Are Proud Of
1. How fast they got somewhere ("making great time" - especially big with our parents' generation).
2. How big their babies are (height, weight, percentile).
3. Doing the crossword in pen.
4. The ability to pick things up with their toes. (OK, maybe this one is just me! :)
Monday, December 22, 2008
Know Your Power: A Message to America's Daughters
A cousin recommended this book by Nancy Pelosi, and I had to check it out.
It was a quick read with some nice messages; I think it would be great for young women especially.
I had fun reading it because I related to the idea of a young Italian Catholic woman growing up back east. It made me think of my mother. But then I realized so many cultures are the same, and I bet lots of people would get a kick out of hearing about her family. It's like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" - you don't have to be Greek to see your family in that movie.
For those of you out there who aren't Democrats, it's a pretty universal message, though some of the anecdotes about her time in the Senate lean left.
I'll be passing this one around the women of the family this Christmas.
Happy Holidays!
p.s. I just noticed that friend and blogger Jenny Rough links to my blog, and I feel some pressure to, er, post stuff here once in a while now. Stay tuned!
UPDATE:
I cracked this book again recently, and I realized something: I didn't really like it. I think I felt some pressure as a good feminist or Democrat or cousin (to the woman who recommended it) to love it, but I didn't. This isn't the first time I "liked" something I didn't really like. I won't call it pretending, because I had convinced myself, too. This could be a whole post about the pressure we put on ourselves to maintain some sort of image that no one likely cares about but us, but instead I will make it about the book. I haven't read a lot of memoirs from public figures, so maybe this is par for the course, but it actually seemed sort of arrogant to me. And contrived. I don't know how it wouldn't be contrived - she still has a public image to maintain and elections to win. But then, why bother?
All the Italian stories were still my favorite part, along with the image of all her little kids folding their own clothes. Otherwise: eh.
It was a quick read with some nice messages; I think it would be great for young women especially.
I had fun reading it because I related to the idea of a young Italian Catholic woman growing up back east. It made me think of my mother. But then I realized so many cultures are the same, and I bet lots of people would get a kick out of hearing about her family. It's like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" - you don't have to be Greek to see your family in that movie.
For those of you out there who aren't Democrats, it's a pretty universal message, though some of the anecdotes about her time in the Senate lean left.
I'll be passing this one around the women of the family this Christmas.
Happy Holidays!
p.s. I just noticed that friend and blogger Jenny Rough links to my blog, and I feel some pressure to, er, post stuff here once in a while now. Stay tuned!
UPDATE:
I cracked this book again recently, and I realized something: I didn't really like it. I think I felt some pressure as a good feminist or Democrat or cousin (to the woman who recommended it) to love it, but I didn't. This isn't the first time I "liked" something I didn't really like. I won't call it pretending, because I had convinced myself, too. This could be a whole post about the pressure we put on ourselves to maintain some sort of image that no one likely cares about but us, but instead I will make it about the book. I haven't read a lot of memoirs from public figures, so maybe this is par for the course, but it actually seemed sort of arrogant to me. And contrived. I don't know how it wouldn't be contrived - she still has a public image to maintain and elections to win. But then, why bother?
All the Italian stories were still my favorite part, along with the image of all her little kids folding their own clothes. Otherwise: eh.
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