Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.

I saw this quote from Saint Francis of Assissi today and love it. So many of us, myself included, shy away from the idea of sharing our religion with others. And since I spend my life expressing myself (well, mostly expressing others) through words, I sometimes forget there are other ways. But I should spend more time letting my actions be good brand ambassadors for God.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately as some very, very sad things happen around us in the name of religion. Americans (and probably most Westerners) like to think of Muslims as the crazy religious zealots, but there are plenty of recent instances of Christians behaving in extremist ways. Whether Islamic or Christian, it's usually the few making a bad name for the many. But since I am Christian, Catholic specifically, it's those incidents that sting the most.

The one that's top of mind for many of us is the murder of Dr. Tiller. The backwards logic of this is the most baffling. I'm not alone in wondering how killing someone is a good way to prove the point that "killing" is wrong. Then again, how many people believe in the death penalty or, as an everyday example, in spanking to show that hitting is wrong? Still, "Thou Shalt Not Kill" does not have an asterisk next to it. There are no exceptions, right? It doesn't seem at all ambiguous, but of course it is, or there wouldn't be two sides of the abortion argument to begin with.

The other really disappointing thing for me recently has been the passing of Prop 8 here in California. Again, I feel that people are using religion to put a shield between themselves and their fears. And again, it's all in the spin. It's "oppression" when women in other cultures aren't allowed to marry whomever they choose (or in a recent story, when their families can choose to have them divorced), but here we can do it in the name of family values. As if that isn't the same reason others would surely cite to support their biases, or the same reason we've used in the past to prevent interracial marriages or women's rights.

I suppose this is part of why I'm hesitant to share my religious viewpoint with others. On the one hand, it is my truth, so I shouldn't hesitate to say so, at least in "appropriate," e.g., non-work settings. On the other hand, I risk association with a few zealots and a few antiquated rules that stand out above all the good there is.

I guess it's like life, though. It's up to us to choose to focus on the positive over the negative. It's not about keeping a tally or worrying what others will think.

Until recently, I thought of myself as "mostly Catholic." I'm terrible about going to church, and I vehemently disagree with some of the doctrine. But I had a revelation one day. I was thinking about how commitment is actually very freeing; it lets you bring in that one foot that was out the door, and allows you to fully focus on making things work instead of wavering over a decision. And I realized that I spend too much of my life waiting for the perfect conditions. It's cost me a home, and likely some great friendships. But nothing and no one is perfect. I don't say I'm "mostly married" because Hubs freaks out when he can't find something that is often right in front of his face, or because we don't spend as much quality time together as I'd like. I am married to him, through and through, and if someone doesn't like what that says about me, too bad (not that anyone has said that, I'm just sayin'). That day, I decided I would no longer caveat my religious choices any more than I would put disclaimers on the ones I love.

I've seen a bumper sticker with this quote from Gandhi:"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ." If Gandhi really said this, my first thought is WTH? Like he met every single Christian. It seems so un-Gandhi-like to make such a vast and poopy generalization. My second thought is, he's surely not the only one who feels this way.

What people choose to see and how others choose to act is out of my hands. But it is well within my control to help there be more positive examples of Christianity in this world. I will work to do that more and, after this here post, I will only use words if necessary.

The New David Sedaris Is Hilarious

Nuff said.

Weird Things That People Are Proud Of

1. How fast they got somewhere ("making great time" - especially big with our parents' generation).

2. How big their babies are (height, weight, percentile).

3. Doing the crossword in pen.

4. The ability to pick things up with their toes. (OK, maybe this one is just me! :)

Know Your Power: A Message to America's Daughters

A cousin recommended this book by Nancy Pelosi, and I had to check it out.

It was a quick read with some nice messages; I think it would be great for young women especially.

I had fun reading it because I related to the idea of a young Italian Catholic woman growing up back east. It made me think of my mother. But then I realized so many cultures are the same, and I bet lots of people would get a kick out of hearing about her family. It's like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" - you don't have to be Greek to see your family in that movie.

For those of you out there who aren't Democrats, it's a pretty universal message, though some of the anecdotes about her time in the Senate lean left.

I'll be passing this one around the women of the family this Christmas.

Happy Holidays!

p.s. I just noticed that friend and blogger Jenny Rough links to my blog, and I feel some pressure to, er, post stuff here once in a while now. Stay tuned!

UPDATE:
I cracked this book again recently, and I realized something: I didn't really like it. I think I felt some pressure as a good feminist or Democrat or cousin (to the woman who recommended it) to love it, but I didn't. This isn't the first time I "liked" something I didn't really like. I won't call it pretending, because I had convinced myself, too. This could be a whole post about the pressure we put on ourselves to maintain some sort of image that no one likely cares about but us, but instead I will make it about the book. I haven't read a lot of memoirs from public figures, so maybe this is par for the course, but it actually seemed sort of arrogant to me. And contrived. I don't know how it wouldn't be contrived - she still has a public image to maintain and elections to win. But then, why bother?

All the Italian stories were still my favorite part, along with the image of all her little kids folding their own clothes. Otherwise: eh.

My cup is overflowing. My plate is full.

Is it a blessing or a curse?

If we hadn't all experienced this feeling, the question would be kind of surprising. How could one thing be both? I have been doing a lot of thinking about this lately. About the word "bittersweet" and how often this unlikely word applies to things in our lives.

For me, this most often comes up when I feel "too busy." Let's see, I have a challenging job, a large extended family, a husband and child, and good friends. What exactly is in there to stress about?

I know we've all felt it. I know I'm not just the jerk complaining about all my blessings. And I don't miss the connection with the name of my blog. When I think about it, I believe there is a reason we pray for our "daily bread" specifically. We certainly don't ask for excess bread. Just enough for today. Tomorrow is another day.

And maybe this is how I should approach the overflowing cup and the full plate: by taking my daily amount and leaving the rest for another day, or another person, or God. What more can we do?

I also have to wonder if some things really are bittersweet, blessing/curse, or if it's up to us to just tip the scales toward sweet blessing and call it a day. I am inclined to think it's up to us, but I haven't figured out how to go about tipping those scales in my own heart and mind. Any ideas?

Book Review: The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox

You must read The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox by Maggie O'Farrell. Must.

You know how some books are so good you can't put them down? This one was so good I had to put it down the first night. Drop it like it's hot, if you will. It was too much to take.

But still I managed to finish it in less than 24 hours. Yeah, me. The one with the baby, and the other job, too, who can't always figure out when to shower.

I gave it to my cousin with a request to get it back before Book Club (still 3 weeks away), as the book had been chosen by the lovely Adrienne for our next discussion. She gave it back to me last Saturday. She'd stayed up all night reading it.

So what is it about, you ask? It is a novel about the power of perception, the reliability (or unreliability) of memory, the way we sometimes forget that the people we love are more important than the opinions of people we really don't care all that much about. It's about the walls that we build to deal with loss in its many forms. It's about the subordination of women.

This book crosses generations and continents, and it's told in a remarkable way.

Read it.

My "Weeble" Is Wobbling

Here in my Kool-Aid drinkin' corporate culture, we have a different name for everything. No, we can't just be like regular folks who say "HR" or "employees." And we talk about WBL - well-balanced life - instead of work/life balance. Maybe we aren't the only ones; I've been insulated here for a while.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I try to be a star don't-call-me-an-employee as well as a star mama.

It seems when people think of work/life balance, they usually think of the life part of the equation. As in, is work giving me enough time to have one? But lately I find myself having a hard time with the work part of the equation. As in, can I still give and get something worthwhile in my work-life while I try to have a life-life?

Part of the problem is that my definition of life-life has changed. It requires me to be home at a reasonable hour, and even if I work from home after Bubs goes to bed, it's not the same as being there. Pre-baby, having a life-life involved some late-night activities, not to mention the ability to stay awake for them, which allowed for working all hours and still having fun. Ah, that work-hard, play-hard mentality that romanced me against my better judgment.

I think the big problem though, and the one I have yet to find a way around, is that most of the fulfilling work I used to do was extra-curricular. In order to get ahead here, and more importantly (to me), to make a difference, I had to take on extra projects - some to help the way we work internally, some to help us win new business, and so on. And of course, those gravy projects are the ones I've had to cut out. And I don't care what people think of that, and I don't care that it may cost me a promotion, I just plain miss it.

Now my task is to dig deep and figure out if there's a way to fit in that extra work, or to somehow make it the work I am tasked to do, during the regular day. I'm working hard to solve this one, because the last thing I want is to find out that our aforementioned corporate culture won't allow for that. As goofy as we can be, I like it here.

The scary question behind the question is whether any solution could even do the trick, or if I got the adrenaline rush from the fact that I was going above and beyond, from the buzz of the late-night office crowd, from the shots of espresso that were inevitably involved.

If there is a neat wrap-up for this post, I haven't found it yet. That's part of my quest, and I'm only going to find it inside myself. I ask you, who has the time?!